One of the many wonders artificial intelligence will bless us with is making bridges obsolete.

“No longer will we have to take an old-fashioned route across water or chasms,” say research scientists, who we universally trust. “A simple pair of hip waders will be sufficient.”

AI is steadily making our world a better place for all of us, not just tech tycoons. Soon we’ll be able to join the elite and put bridges – auto, walking, train – behind us.

“Not having to access and cross bridges will be a great advancement for our Guaranteed Universal Income masses,” say researchers. “That will ensure the rest of us that they stay on their proper side of the tracks, where the redemption centers and fish hatcheries are.”

Bridgeless societies will not only keep you where you belong, but they will keep commerce moving along, too.

Before AI, we needed bridges to do whatever this train is doing:

With AI’s beneficent help, we can rid our landscape of the scourge of bridges, and therefore prevent nasty train crashes like this one:

So put your brains in a crockpot, relax with your generous government unemployment benefits, and stand on the shore of life forevermore!

*