I wanted the golf franchise, but that was already taken. It took a lot of arm twisting, but I got the bowling one.
Picture this: every square inch of Greenland paved with black asphalt, with a Bowl-O’-Rama every 2 miles in every direction. Blanket coverage. Only Walmart and KFC will come close.
You’ve heard of Eco-Tourism? Well, this is sort of the opposite of that. We expect shiploads of tourists to descend upon The Nutmeg State, or whatever we decide to call it, and erupt into an orgy of Endurance Bowling, 24/7.
We need all that asphalt because it has been brought to our attention that bowlers tend to have knobby bodies and need to be able to park near the lanes. We’ll supply all the tools of bowling – the balls, the bags, the shoes, the mixed drinks, the defibrillators, the hernia meshes. You supply the money.
And if you discover any rare earth minerals while here, drop them off at the door as you leave. They’re ours!
